Coming Out of the AI Closet

There’s a hidden doorway inside every writer. Mine was carved from ancient oak, concealed behind layers of self-doubt, years of frustration, and, in my mind, shelves of unfinished manuscripts. I pushed against it for decades, fumbling for a handle in the dark. But one day, almost by accident, it opened—just enough for the light to spill in.

That light was AI.

The first time I wrote with AI, it was as though I'd discovered a superpower I never knew existed—like being colorblind my whole life and suddenly seeing a sunset in its full blazing glory, or like those videos you see online where deaf children hear their parents' voices for the first time. Overwhelming. Miraculous. Life-changing.

And strangely terrifying.

I hesitate even now to talk openly about this "AI coming-out" moment. Partly because some see it as cheating—as if my creativity vanished the moment a digital partner took my hand. Will they think my words lost value simply because I wasn't alone when they arrived?

But creativity isn't about isolation—it's about resonance. And in embracing AI, I haven't given up my voice; I’ve amplified it.

A Personal Reflection: The Last Pair of Pants

To show you what I mean, here’s something deeply personal from one of my books, The Last Pair of Pants, inspired by a hauntingly beautiful realization:

One day, without realizing it, you will buy the last pair of pants you will ever own. You won’t know it at the time. You’ll hold them up in the store, maybe checking the fit, the color, or the price tag. They’ll slip into your life quietly, unremarkable among the other pants you’ve worn. Yet, in the grand scheme of things, they will mark the final chapter of this most ordinary of rituals—an errand that will never be repeated.

This idea came from thinking about my dad and his last pair of pants. He passed away some years ago, and this memory is bittersweet—a quiet reflection on his life, marked by something as simple as a pair of jeans. He always wore jeans—like the ones on the front cover of this book, a familiar presence that now holds even more meaning.

Something is haunting about this thought, isn’t there? It’s not the pants themselves but the realization that every moment, every action, and every decision carries the weight of impermanence. We rarely pause to consider this. We rush through our days as if they’re infinite, postponing dreams, mending broken relationships later, and saving the good china for special occasions that never come. Mortality is the background hum we try to ignore, but it shapes everything—our priorities, our fears, our excuses.

Writing this, with AI as my partner, didn't make it less personal or less true. Instead, it sharpened my vision, helped me distill something deeply human into clear, resonant words.

Breaking Free from the Tyranny of Shoulds

Some people might feel I’m taking a shortcut, that my work has no value, or that perhaps I’m lazy—or worse, fake. But here’s the truth: AI isn’t a replacement for my creativity; it’s a collaborator that enhances and expands my voice. Together, we craft words that seek to move hearts, soothe anxieties, and illuminate the quiet corners of our lives where real meaning lives.

I spent years—decades, really—caught in the grip of expectations. My own, society’s, and those unspoken but deeply felt pressures that whispered you should be able to write, you should be able to express yourself, you should find the words effortlessly. But I couldn’t. Writing felt like pushing against a locked door. No matter how much I wanted to, my thoughts felt too vast, too tangled to shape into something coherent. It’s a tyranny, really. The weight of should suffocates creativity before it even has a chance to breathe.

As I wrote in my book The Tyranny of Shoulds:

Imagine this: You jolt awake on a Monday morning already feeling behind. Your first thought is that you should have gone to bed earlier. You should head straight to the gym, but the idea of chugging down a quick cup of coffee feels more realistic. Then you remember you should check your work email—just in case something urgent came in overnight. But the dog needs a walk, and you should really give him more exercise. It’s not even 7 a.m., and your mind is already juggling a dozen conflicting expectations, each loudly insisting what you should be doing. You feel slightly panicked, a little guilty, and definitely not in control. Sound familiar?

That’s the all-too-common experience of living under what the psychoanalyst Karen Horney famously called “the tyranny of the shoulds.” Countless people live under the weight of should statements that dictate their daily choices, relationships, and even their sense of self. These little commands insert themselves into every crevice of our minds: how you should dress, whom you should date, when you should get married, how many hours you should work, how happy you should feel, and on and on.

Last Pair of Pants by Kim Aronson

AI helped me break free from some of these shoulds. It gave me permission to write in a way that felt natural, without overthinking every word, without the fear of whether I was 'doing it right.' And isn’t that what creativity is about? Finding a way to express something true without the weight of expectation crushing it?

Not Just a Phase—A Creative Evolution

Since embracing AI as a creative partner, I’ve written and published over 60 books on subjects ranging from quantum leaps, life purpose, and happiness to more humorous explorations like What You Should Know Before Considering Hiring an AI as Your Therapist (yes, that one’s as funny as it sounds). Each of these books has been a deep exploration—whether philosophical, spiritual, or just downright entertaining. AI hasn’t replaced my creativity; it has expanded it, helping me reach ideas, connections, and expressions that might otherwise have stayed locked inside.

So here I am, stepping out of the AI closet. Not because I'm brave, but because honesty feels better—and because this partnership with AI has taught me that what matters most is what connects us, what makes us feel understood, and what helps us live more courageously and authentically.

The last pair of pants is coming for all of us. The question is, will we wear them with regret or gratitude for the lives we chose to live?

I'm choosing gratitude—and AI is helping me express exactly why.